Gross.

So far, today has been one of those days. You know, one of those days where you wake up all bright-eyed and ready to greet the morning and then God bitch slaps you. It has just been one thing after the other.

So the first thing that happens (and this one is the most major, so yes I'm totally overreacting) is I go down to the kitchen to make breakfast and I realize the floor of the pantry is black. Black and . . . moving. Ants, ants everywhere. In my new, clean house. I grabbed the first available weapon, Windex, and crop-dusted their whole little conga line. They were instantly paralyzed. (My husband makes fun of me, because I use Windex for EVERYTHING. I was raised on Windex.) I wiped up their lifeless bodies, closed the pantry door and hoped I would never see them again. Wishful thinking.

Creative commons: Flickr-Neilsphotography

I went upstairs to put some laundry away, and ended up having one of those "I hate everything in my closet" fits. I ripped half of my clothing out of my closet and sorted it into piles. Winter clothes that need stored and stuff that can be donated. I put all the donated stuff in a bag and loaded it in my car.

A half hour later I opened the pantry door to see more of the little F'ers.

So I called my mom like I do in any emergency situation and she told me a certain type of ant traps that work really well. They sell them at Walmart. Walmart was not really on my list of things I wanted to do today, but when something happens like this, I have to solve it IMMEDIATELY.

The plan for the day was to work ALL day, so this trip really cut into my time. I drove out to Walmart, found the ant traps and started to read the package. Keep away from kids and pets. Of course my derranged animals would be more than happy to gobble up an ant trap and create a much bigger problem. I debated and debated and ended up not buying the traps. I did buy some space bags though. I planned on going to the gym on the way home but I was struck with cramps, a surprise and realized i forgot my ipod anyway. No gym.

I got home, opened the pantry and realized that I would HAVE to buy ant traps, it was getting out of control. So I got back into the car and drove to a DIFFERENT walmart (one that was closer to my house, but doesn't sell groceries) and bought the ant traps. By this time it was noon and I was hungry and cranky. I stopped and got a sub and a coke.

When I got home, I set up the ant traps, made sure the cat and dog had no way to access it and then plopped down on the couch to eat my lunch and go through the mail. I felt something stab me when I sat down. It was my favorite lip gloss/lipstick. Which the dog had thoroughly mangled and was now on the couch, may shorts and . . . . yep. All over the dog. After I got that all cleaned up I flipped through the mail, only to find the Victoria's Secret swimsuit catalog. I don't need to see this while i'm guzzling down soda and a ham sandwich.

This is how it ended:

I think I will now take a nap and start the day over.

PS. The space bags were the best part of my day and are actually AMAZING.