Six Months

Six months . . . as in, half a year, whoa. Somewhere along the line, this squirming ball of squish became a real live person and I don't know when it happened. I thought for a while he was going to be the most serious baby and he would never smile. Then came one smile, and another, and now one is almost permanently glued on his face. He is so darn silly, and joyful, and full of life.

It's hard not to feel on top of the world when someone looks at you like you are Justin Bieber and they are a twelve year old Belieber. Squeeeing and flailing limbs and everything when he sees me or his dad. But his favorite person in the world isn't a person, it's his dog. He can be crying his little eyes out and all I have to do is call the dog over and his face breaks into a teary smile and giggle. 

Sometimes I get frustrated by how tedious and tiring it is to take care of a baby all day (which only happens a few times a week, bless my mother-in-law) and I need to get away for some time to myself. So I drive out to Target or whatever and all I can think about is how much I miss him. Last night I had some errands to run, and when Frank told me that he had already put him to bed when I got home, it was all I could do to not run into his room, grab him, and say "Let's play!"

And now, the good stuff:

Sawyer's Crib

All the finishing touches are finally done . . . just in time for us to move (I'll get to that later).  Full Disclosure: it never actually looks this clean and organized.

There's some pinterest inspiration up in this joint. That mobile for one. If making a mobile by punching holes out of paint chips looks easy, don't be fooled. This thing took me forever to make, involved a lot of rubber cement and swearing.

I made the curtains and bedskirt from fabric I bought online. Frank helped me paint the stripes and walls because he thought Sawyer would be born with four arms from paint fumes (don't worry, it was low VOC paint, and he has two arms). My amazing mommy made the quilt, I found awesome woodland animal fabrics at a local fabric store. See that fancy glider? Craigslist - $50. I googled the product code on the tag and it's worth $650. Chaching. Lamp, random S are from Marshalls, tray is from Target. The rug and side table are from IKEA. I did this on the cheap, very cheap. The crib is from Walmart, SHHH.

The gallery wall is made from stuff I've collected during my pregnancy and even before. The ornate wood frames were gaudy looking mirrors I found at a garage sale five years ago, but I popped the mirrors out and spray painted them. Some of the prints are greeting cards, some of them are designer wrapping paper that i bought at a card shop. 

 

More storage from IKEA with Martha Stewart storage cubes from Lowes. The changing pad cover is from Designs by Christy on Etsy, make sure you check her out. The knick knacks and stuffed toys are from places like Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Kohls, Ikea, etc.

If ya ain't first, you're last

I'm a finalist on Project Nursery!

Vote for me by going here!

I decided to enter Sawyer's nursery in a nursery design contest (his is the orange and aqua one shown above) and I became a finalist! Kind of shocking for me because I did this on the lowest budget possible and most of it I made myself. I'm completely honored to be in the running. I would really appreciate it if you could give me and Sawyer a vote. I'm going to do a post tomorrow with the details of the nursery. I don't win much, a $50 gift card, but just being recognized would be the best part. I put a lot of myself into this.

Thanks for your help :)

3 Months

They say that the first three months of having a baby is like the fourth trimester. If so, we're out of the water. I think Sawyer is officially not a newborn now, and is instead a chunky rolley baby. It makes me sad that he's growing so fast, but honestly he's becoming a lot more fun. I feel like I'm hanging out with a little person now, not just a squishy blob of hunger. Things are good.

Here's the big guy:

The deets:

The progression:

Looks like my photography skills might be improving too, haha.

It looks like Sawyer's chill personality is staying intact. He is such an easy, smiley, relaxed baby. It kind of scares me for the next baby, because I'm not getting that "up all night" crazy experience. He's just so much fun to be around. The only thing we're having a problem with is the reflux. Baby boy will puke up an entire bottle at a moment's notice. It makes public feeding a scary experience. If I'm feeding him at someone else's house, I'll usually bring spare clothes for both of us and will feed him sitting on the floor with a bath towel. The upside? I've become adept at catching puke. This morning I caught projectile vomit in a spare tupperware container.

Also, the once super-quiet baby is now starting to talk to us. Or should I say, howl. I honestly think that he's starting to mimic Wilbur's howls, since he hears them all day long. Look at 40 seconds, proof.

Two Months

Oh look, Sawyer turns three months in two days, so now is a good time to do his two month post. So when i say "this month" I'm really referring to last month. And go.

 This month Sawyer really started smiling more, a few coos here and there, and as you can see, he got much chunkier. Toward the end of month two Sawyer was diagnosed with reflux, the trendy disease that almost every baby gets, ha. We're talking spitting up entire bottles, out the nose. It doesn't bother him when it happens, but it looks like the puking scene from The Exorcist. 

We spent a lot of time just finding a rhythm and I started to feel more confident about being a mother this month. Although, Frank was still working half days so I had yet to experience full-time mom duties. 

Sawyer's first Thanksgiving was a hit. We went to Frank's sister's house first and then to my parents'. All new babies were present and accounted for. It's so strange that my side of the family has babies now. We've been babyless for over 20 years.

Sawyer with his cousin Max, Frank's sister's baby. They are only five weeks apart but Max is a little chunk!

With my Grandma, his Great Grandma. I'm so happy that my Gram is around and relatively healthy enough to enjoy her three great grandchildren. Sawyer looks pretty stoked too.

One Month

We have one month under our belts. It's completely amazing and unbelievable that Sawyer didn't exist outside my body a little over a month ago. He's our whole world now. I'm working on my birth story now, but i'm not sure if I'll share it or not. It is so deeply personal. 

Motherhood has been everything and nothing like I expected. I expected the constant cycle of bottles, diapers and naps. What I didn't expect was how much I would enjoy it. What I also didn't expect was for this all-consuming love to hit me so hard. I'm so much happier than I expected to be. I had a rough pregnancy, emotions-wise, and I spent a lot of time absolutely terrified of motherhood, scared that I wouldn't be able to bond with the baby, worried I would hate my new role and miss my old life. I didn't realize that it was absolutely out of control. I didn't really have to worry about how to become a mother, because it just happens without your consent. And I didn't have to worry about loving my baby, because no matter how hard I could have tried not to, because there is no way that I couldn't. 

That's not to say that it hasn't been challenging at times. The first few weeks were hard, really hard. It's not really the lack of sleep that was hard, but just getting used to a new sleep pattern. Sawyer was up every 2-3 hours at night to eat, and I could never really get into deep sleep. I also experience the baby blues, which most women do. It's crazy because you can actually feel the hormones rushing in and out of your body. I would burst into tears dozens of times per day, and it was totally out of my control. I would say through my sobs, "I have no idea why I'm crying right now, I'm not even sad!" The baby blues combined with complete exhaustion eventually did me in, and I was scared that PPD was starting to set in. I expected this though, and saw my doctor right away. He put me on a new med, Frank let me get a few nights of uninterrupted sleep (we're formula feeding so this was possible) and within two days things were significantly easier.

I feel like I've really found my footing now. I can change a poopy diaper with just one wipe, dodge a stream of pee, swaddle with one hand. I'm also not stressed out very much at all. This is largely to the credit of Sawyer, who is a dream baby. Everyone comments about how calm and happy he is all the time. I (always the pessimist) expected an extremely fussy difficult baby. What I got was a baby who only cries to let us know he's hungry or needs a diaper, can spend an hour laying on a blanket just looking around. We can take him shopping with us without worrying about a meltdown. I know his temperment could change overnight, but right now I'm enjoying this content baby. He has really helped ease us into this transition.

My physical recovery has gone quicker than I imagined as well. Labor was incredibly quick and easy (well, after the epi!) and since he was so small, I didn't tear too much. Within a week, I had cabin fever and was able to get out to do some shopping. I've lost 20 pounds but have another 20 to do, and it's holding on for dear life. 

They say having a baby changes everything. Everything it has changed has been for the better. Of course it's not as easy to run out the door to run a quick errand, and we can't decide last minute to go on a trip, but much of our life remains the same. Because of our awesome family, we have still been able to go on dates, see friends, be grownups. And we don't just talk about the baby, we still talk about everything we did before him. Our relationship is stronger because of this amazing person we made together.

What has changed is me. I have found a confidence that I didn't have before. Being pregnant and giving birth has changed me for the better. I grew and gave life to a human, a perfect human. I can do anything. I have also experienced a range of emotions that I didn't even know existed. I understand people who choose not to have kids, and sometimes I even wondered if I wanted them. But I feel like for me personally, my life experience would never have been this full without this baby. It truly is a miracle.