Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Hugs and Kisses

I’m not a hugger. I don’t have any kind of weird aversion to human touch or anything like that, its just not my first instinct to hug people at random. For the first couple decades of my life, this was never a problem. Then I met my husband. He comes from a lifestyle of wreckless hugging behavior. I think it was the fault of his small catholic high school.

Oh hey! I haven’t seen you in two days . . . how bout a hug?

You’re leaving the party so soon . . . we must hug!

I just saw you on the street . . . awkward public hug time!


I save my hugs for meaningful situations. I hug my parents when I haven’t seen them in a while. I hug my husband when he’s especially sweet. I hug babies when they do cute things. I hug friends when they are sad. When a hug becomes a normal part of a goodbye routine, it loses its meaning.

We had our typical Tuesday night of 25 cent pizza slices at our favorite local bar. This usually happens once a week. Not seeing someone for seven days does not warrant a hug. But of course, when its time to leave, my husband has to initiate the hug train.

We announce that we will be parting ways and we start to get our coats on. This is when the awkwardness begins. For me, anyway. I start walking towards the door, bidding my farewells, hoping my husband will follow suit. No such luck. He makes his rounds, hugging each friend. Then I look like the cold-hearted bitch, standing at the door, waiting for him to finish his hugs. What do I do? Do I come BACK into the bar to dole out hugs?

And then there are the people that you’re not yet at hugging status with. People you have only met a few times. But what are you supposed to do, hug everyone at the table and just skip over that one person? Like some cruel game of duck duck goose? No, it always ends in an awkward loose hug.

So for anyone who might feel snubbed by my non-hugging approach, rest assured that I do love you. I’m just waiting for that perfect appropriate moment to bestow my embrace upon you. When the moment comes, it will be all worth it.

(Unless I’m drunk. Then I will hug total strangers, homeless people, gyros, toilet seats. )

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