Negative Nancy

I'm writing this blog post in order to distract myself from continually staring at the Gmail tab in my browser. I'm waiting for the number to go from 943 to 944 (I rarely clean out my inbox) and hoping it will be a response from a potential client that I just quoted a project for. I'm very new to freelance writing and setting fees is one of the most difficult things to do. The range of prices depends on so many things. When you're starting out, it feels like you're just picking a random number out of the sky and praying the client will accept it. So in order to spread some good, positive vibes, I'm going to talk about optimism.

I'm a glass half empty kind of lady. As my mom says, I was a shy, nervous, worried kid and I haven't changed a bit. Well except for the shyness part, which randomly disappeared in college, for the most part. I blame PBR Light for that one. But for the most part, I worry about everything and always assume the worst in every situation. It's sad.

If you don't know me very well, you probably can't tell that I have this problem with negativity. I don't come across as Daria-esque. I don't wear black every day, I don't have a voice like Eyore and I even like listening to Ke$ha once in a while. But deep down inside, I doubt myself constantly. I always assume that I can never be as successful as other writers I read about. I know that I'm smart and talented, but for some reason I always worry that it just won't happen for me. This comes into play in other areas of my life too. Any time the phone rings at an odd hour, I think that its going to be terrible news. If I'm planning a vacation, I worry and worry that we'll have terrible weather. My husband asked me why I thought this way and here's the best way I can explain it: If you expect the worst, you'll never be disappointed.

What's funny is that my husband is the exact opposite of me in this way. His glass is definitely half-full. I swear that he can make good things happen with his mind. He told me that he used to constantly doubt himself as well, but decided one day to live by one word: positivity. Since then, he has been able to control his life with his thoughts. Really, its creepy.

Remember that book, The Secret? I only made it about two pages into the book before I decided to put it down and switch to the latest Chelsea Handler book, but its basically about the power of positive thinking. If you visualize something in your mind and tell yourself you will get it, you can basically get anything. Some lady wrote the book and said the secret has been around for thousands of years. However, my husband (along with Oprah) basically claimed to have known about/invented the secret. He's been living it since before the book came out. Haha.

He has incredible luck. He can win Chinese auctions and scratch-off lottery tickets on a regular basis. He has incredible success. He applied for a job that he didn't really have the experience or major for, told himself he would get it, and got it. Now, just a couple years later, he has had several promotions, raises and has people twice his age working for him. He is considered the Doogie Howser of his industry. I know that he is smart and capable, but he always tells me that it is his positive thinking that makes him successful. I think it is some of both.

So now I am knee-deep in the world of professional writing and it is an absolute requirement to maintain positivity in order to keep my head above water. Daily rejections and constant criticism are just part of the job. This career is so important to me that I MUST learn to be optimistic, or I will fail. Luckily, I have someone to help teach me. I'm hoping that my husband's amazing outlook on life will rub off on me. I am making it a goal to try to be optimistic.

Is your glass half-full or half-empty? Is it just me that has these neurotic thoughts? Any advice on how to live optimistically?