This is not part of the diet

So you know I've been on sort of a permanent diet for the past 7 (!) months. Actually I've been kind of falling off the wagon lately (ah hem, half a large pizza and DQ ice cream from last night, I'm looking at you . . .) but I WILL get back on soon. We've just been traveling so much lately (hence the lack of blog updates) that it's been hard to get back into the healthy living mindset. Especially when you go somewhere like Ocean City, MD, where every restaurant is either an all-you-can-eat buffet or a place that specializes in deep friend butter. I know, excuses, excuses.

When I get cravings, they are most often for sweets, which can be really dangerous for me. However, I have discovered that if I make/cook/bake the thing myself, just the process of making it will get rid of most of the craving, and I don't end up eating very much of it. So, yeah.

This weekend, my friend was having a bunch of us over for a cookout celebrating the fact that she just got a great job with one of Pittsburgh's pro sports teams. She is also a lover of all things sugary, so I decided to go all out and make something ridiculous to eat for the cookout.

Enter cake pops! Pittsburgh black and yellow cake pops!

I know I'm the last person to jump on the cake pop train, but I'm slow at this stuff. By the time I catch onto trends, it's usually best to just skip it and wait for the next one. The fact that Target now makes knock off Toms makes me think that its too late in the game for me to start wearing them and still be considered trendy. Moving on . . .

Anyway, I found some great tutorials all over the internet but obviously the best is the cake pop inventor herself, Bakerella. So here's my rendition.

Ingredients:
(A) Cake mix (plus all the ingredients to make it)
      Can of frosting
      2 bags of meltable candy or chocolate
      Lollipop sticks
      Styrofoam
      Sprinkles
      (these last four can be found at craft stores, I got  mine at Michaels)

1. Bake your cake according to the instructions, it doesn't matter what kind of pan you use.
2. When the cake is done, scoop it out of the pan and into a bowl. Stir it and mash it up like crazy until it's completely broken up (B).
3. Stir in an entire can of frosting. Mix it thoroughly, creating a chocolatey cakey delicious dough.
4. Chill the dough.
5. When the dough is chilled, roll it into approximately one inch balls, like if you were making cookies (C). Let those chill in the refrigerator for a while.
6. Melt your candy/chocolate. I recommend using something more narrow than a bowl, so that you can still cover the cake pop as your candy supply dwindles. A mug worked perfectly for me.
7. When your balls are chilled (side-eye . . .) take a few out. Dip a lollipop stick in the melted candy, about a half inch, and then stick it into the ball, making sure not to go more than halfway, or you'll risk the ball sliding down the stick (E).
8. Dunk the ball into the melted candy and wiggle it from side to side to coat it (F). Then pull it straight out, turn it on its side and tap it a bit to get off the excess. This is confusing, check out the video below BEFORE you try this because I messed up quite a few before I decided to Google what I was doing wrong (D).
9. Add some sprinkles, and then stick the lollipop into the styrofoam so the cake pop can dry standing up.
10. Take a ridiculous amount of pictures of them.

Watch this video before you try it, Bakerella knows her ish.

These are amazingly good and super rich, which stops you from eating like seven of them. I had some extras which i brought over to Frank's family's dinner and here is what 5 year old Zachary had to say:

"Aunt Em, this is the best lollipop I have ever eated in my entire life. You are really nice and I like you a lot." 

And that's a direct quote. His whole life may only be five years, but he has done some damage in the lollipop department in that time.

They were also a hit at the cookout, where they got all warm and gooey in the sun. My friends, who are connoisseurs  likened them to Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.

Have you ever made cake pops? Do you do what i do and bake things to avoid eating them?

*If you're not currently dieting or trying to lose weight, this will probably be boring to you. Apologies in advance, this rant is mainly a way to kick my own butt into gear!


For the first month or so of dieting, i was all "OMG this is so easy, why doesn't everyone do it?" and then in month #2, karma stepped in to kick my ass. Yeah, it's not easy. The eating healthy part is pretty easy, the exercising part is easy, but the actual losing weight? It's hard.

You see, I've stalled. I feel like I'm still doing everything right, but I'm just not seeing the number on the scale go down as quickly as it was before. This makes sense I guess. But what you should know about me, is that I'm an incredibly impatient person. If things are working out without a hitch, I go full speed ahead. But the moment I can't achieve my goal right now, I start to slip.

So this explains why I got totally frustrated about the lack of weight loss, started eating way under my recommended calorie intake, and then binged all weekend because I felt so deprived. Not good. It involved eating a ton of pizza on Thursday night, snacking on a platter of fried food at bowling last night, an ice cream cone and other not-so-good things throughout Thurs and Friday.

Today, I'm feeling like crap. I'm SO bloated from all the excess salt, I'm sleepy and I can't poop. It's time to get back on track and break through this plateau in a healthy way. So instead of pouting about it and placating myself with calories (like I've been doing all weekend), I think I need to get ahold of myself and start over. So starting now (no, not tomorrow or Monday), I'm going to try to do a week of completely clean eating. Lots of fruits and veggies, low carb, high protein meals. No white flour or sugar (whew, the sugar thing is going to be hards, goodbye french vanilla Coffeemate). Four bottles of water per day (my bottle is 24 oz) and at least four days of cardio. Three days of weight training. And no depriving myself if I'm hungry. If I start to feel carb-starved and tired, I'll eat some brown rice or other healthy carb. I'm going to eat 6 small meals a day to try to get my metabolism back on track.

And here's the biggie. I'm not going to weigh myself again until Thursday morning. That will give my body some time to get rid of all that retained water, it will give my sore, sore muscles time to become un-inflamed (is that a word?) Because when I weigh myself after a day of hard weight-training, I'm always disappointed by the extra water weight. And I usually do my two hard weigh training days on Thursday and Sunday.

Sorry if this post was irrelevant to you. I just really needed to give myself a mental pep talk. For all of the internet to see ha.

Weekly Weight Goal = OWNED

Yay! It's only Wednesday and I've met my weight goal for this week! (My goal is to lose one pound per week for 10 weeks, and then maintain). I was 129.8 on Sunday and now I'm 128.8. If I could lose another pound by the end of this week, that would be awesome sauce. Of course, I know that right now it's probably just water weight that I'm losing from a week of crappy/salty eating, but I'll take it.

Wanna know how I'm doing it? Here are some things that are helping me:

• Writing down everything I eat (so I can't disregard that cookie, etc)
• Taking pictures of meals - I only do this occasionally, but it helps
• Measuring. It's really easy to misjudge measurements and food portions. For example, a serving size of my cereal is 3/4 a cup, but its easy to put 1 cup or more in the bowl without realizing
• Smaller plates and bowls - a half cup of cottage cheese in a big bowl looks like nothing, but it feels like a perfectly satisfying amount if you eat it from a cute ramekin. Same goes with plate size, I'm trying to eat off of 8" salad plates
• Weigh myself EVERY day. I'm better with short term goals because I'm so impatient. Its much easier for me to take things one day at a time. If I weigh myself every day, I also can't trick myself into believing that I can take the day off, because I see the results. 
• Eating IN. This is a huge one. We got rid of all the junk food in our house and stocked it up with healthy options. Its better that I don't have the choice between french fries and an apple (like at Wendy's) because I have no will power. I'm also not being bombarded with delicious crave-inducing french fry aromas.
• Taking note of what's on Oprah. Because I cannot survive for 45 minutes on the treadmill without something good on tv. If Oprah sucks that day, Keeping Up with the Kardashians (shh, don't tell anyone) will suffice.  My gym has an individual television on EVERY piece of cardio equipment, which is AMAZING.
• Keeping stress in check. I'm an emotional eater and a stress eater, and everything stresses me out (just ask my husband). That's a bad combination. I'm doing my best to do the things that I know will ease stress, like getting my work done on time, keeping the house clean, going to bed at a decent time and waking up early before 9:00. 
• Inspiration. This means staring at pictures of hot healthy women, visualizing the beach, reading your blog posts about healthy eating, etc. 
• Keeping it reasonable. My husband, Frank, does things to the extreme, like 24 hour cleanses, super-intense workouts, super-strict dieting. This works for some people, but not for me. If I starve myself, go too hard at the gym, I just burn out, get overwhelmed, cry it out and then eat a pizza. Instead, I'm trying to stay under a certain daily calorie count, get in at least four good workouts per week and generally eat healthy foods. 

Here's lunch: 

Tuna salad, hummus and celery, blueberries, creepy dark weird cell phone pic

Sorry, I don't want this blog to become all about food, dieting, etc. Craft post coming soon!

My Food Journal

I'm using Sparkpeople.com to record my daily food and exercise. Anyone else on here? Anyway, today was pretty decent, eating-wise. The thing is, according to this, I only ate around 800 calories, which is ridiculous. I should be getting like 1400, maybe 1200 at the least. But I don't feel like I restricted my food very much, and I was never hungry throughout the day. So is this okay? I also worked out on the treadmill for 40 minutes (walk for 5, run for 5, repeat). I need to stop being lazy and start adding weight training. 

BREAKFAST:

Hard Boiled Egg, 2 large 155 1 11 13 Regular Coffee, 1 cup (8 fl oz) 2 0 0 0 Coffeemate Creamer French Vanilla, 1 tbsp 35 5 2 0

BREAKFAST TOTALS: 192 6 12 13

LUNCH:

Kraft Mayo Light Mayonnaise (Mayo), 1.5 tbsp 75 2 7 0 Tuna, Canned in Water, 3 oz 99 0 1 22 Egg white, 1 serving 17 0 0 5

LUNCH TOTALS: 191 2 8 27

DINNER:

Sour Cream, reduced fat, 2 tbsp 41 1 4 1 Salsa, 2 tbsp 9 2 0 0 Romaine Lettuce (salad), 2 cup, shredded 16 3 0 2 Tomatoes, red, ripe, raw, year round average, 0.5 cup cherry tomatoes 16 3 0 1 Perdue, Lean Ground Turkey, 5 oz 200 0 10 30

DINNER TOTALS: 281 9 14 34

SNACK:

Musselman's Home Style Natural Unsweetened Apple Sauce, 0.5 cup 50 13 0 0 Snack Factory Pretzel Chip, 5 serving 50 0 0 0 Blueberries, fresh, 0.5 cup 41 10 0 1

SNACK TOTALS: 141 23 0 1

CLICK TO ADD/EDIT EXTRA MEALS

			CALORIES	CARBS	FAT	PROTEIN
			805	41	34	74
			1,340 - 1,690	179 - 258	35 - 62	60 - 139
			535 - 885	138 - 217	1 - 28	0 - 65

No Pain, No Gain.

Oh hey guys.

Pardon my bitching, but I woke up this morning feeling like my muscles had been placed in a meat grinder and then stuffed back into my body.

My husband's reaction to this? "Pain is weakness leaving the body." Whatever, d-bag.

I have been on one of my exercise binges, probably the most hardcore I have ever been on. Right now I am training for a 5k (yes, I said 5k, not marathon or half marathon, I'm lame), practicing yoga a couple times a week and weight training. On the weekends, my husband takes me to his gym and submits me to all types of cruel torture, like hang cleans, dead lifts and squats. It has really kick-started my fitness.

On Saturday, I finished week 1 of my 8 week 5k training. According to the guy that narrates the "5K101" podcast that I downloaded, I will be able to run a 5k by the end of the program. We'll see. I'm confident though (don't I sound confident?) If you want to do it with me, search "5k101" on itunes. Week 1 was very easy for me, but i'm a bit scared of week 2.

The challenge now is to get my eating under control. Since I have been working out more, I have been as hungry as Chris Farley (RIP) and have felt entitled to eat whatever I want. As I was stuffing my face with a $2 Red Baron pizza yesterday, I realized that I had eaten pizza FOUR times that week. WTF? My husband told me that if you do hang-cleans, you can eat whatever you want that day. I don't think he expected me to take his words as a promise and a challenge. Because I took it to the house on some pizza, ice cream and potato chips yesterday. Gross.

So now that I'm getting into the exercising, I have to work on phase 2: the diet. I'll try to record what I eat here as much as possible. I think that actually owning up to every little thing I eat will help me get a hold of myself. Reading about other people's health quest on their blogs is what really motivates me to get healthy. So if you write about healthy eating/exercise, send me a link so that I can stalk you!

I needed a picture for this post and was lazy, totally appropriate right?

That Time I Tried to Not be Fat

Let's talk about being fat, and how I'm attempting to avoid it.

I have to admit, I've been seriously slacking in the diet and exercise department since California. But I'm happy to report that I have gotten back on the horse. I'm in a really good groove right now with working out and eating healthy.

Let's get one thing straight, I HATE exercising. It takes me more mental perseverance than it takes Fergie to not pee her pants. I think about it for a couple of days. Then I might put on a pair of tennis shoes and a sports bra and take a nap in them, just to feel them out. On a few occasions, I may have driven to the gym and ended up in the grocery store instead.

But lately? Lately I have actually been semi-looking forward to working out. I have kind of gotten into a groove with my lifting routine and my cardio. I get SO FREAKING BORED when I'm doing cardio, even though I have an ipod loaded with podcasts, and each piece of cardio equipment has its own tv screen. I can attribute my new devotion to fitness to the fact that they recently added channels to the gym cable and . . .

I can watch Real Housewives and Keeping Up with the Kardashians while I work out. Whatever works.

I find that eating healthy and working out all seem to fall into place once you have one of them down. So since I have been working on my fitness, I have been having less cravings for junk and have been more motivated to fuel my body with healthy foods, particularly vegetables. Once you start turning down junk food, it becomes addicting, like some sort of game. Last night, while out at dinner with my friends, I turned down dessert. Do you know how hard that is for me? I felt so bad ass afterward.

I have found that blogging has been a huge motivation for me when it comes to getting healthy. Of course I am held accountable by my own blog, but more so, I like reading other people's blogs about their attempts to get healthy.  I'm more likely to be motivated by a real person making an attempt to be healthy than someone like Jillian Michaels. Jillian, you are a demon robot sent to Earth to make me feel ashamed and weak. You have no relevance in my life.

So I'm asking you, do you have any kick ass fitness, health or eating blogs that you read that help you stay motivated?  I would definitely like to add a few to my reader. Thanks!

(photos from Flickr: timtak, www.chicagofabulousblog.com, jesse757)

Getting Un-fat, and Lemonade

Well I'm sort of "back on the horse" in terms of dieting and exercise. Although, I'm not calling it a diet. Its more of an attempt to not totally sabotage my body and health by eating the crap that I normally indulge in. Our ten-day trip was a free-for-all in terms of eating.  Every single meal was eaten out.  It is hard to get out of the habit of eating like that. Summer is a great time to do this though because I love fresh fruit and vegetables and there is so much to choose from.  I hate winter, when the only good stuff you can are apples, oranges and bananas. Gross. Plus anything grilled tastes awesome.

We're probably going to the beach at the end of June, and I'd like to be able to face the idea of getting into a bathing suit. I tried to convince my husband that one piece bathing suits are cool now (they ARE) but he, along with 99% of men I'm sure, is not buying it. I checked my membership profile online for LAFitness and they show your work out history. It turns out that all those times that I thought about going to the gym did not count as actually going. Luckily, one of my best friends is joining my gym soon so I'll have some new motivation. She is one of those people who can do the elliptical for two hours straight. I might have to chain myself to her to prevent me from leaving.

So today, rather than doing something  . . . you know . . . productive, I made lemonade. It's sunny, it's warm, I just spent $370 on my dog for vaccinations and meds. Why not? Plus its kind of healthy, which is what I'm going for these days. All I did was juice a big lemon (I also used the pulp, because I like it), add in a couple handfuls of frozen raspberries and some ice cubes. I used a packet of Sweet-n-low to sweeten it, but also supplemented with a little sugar because I can't stand too much sugar substitute, I'm very sensitive to the taste. It's not as super sweet as lemonade, and is more refreshing. I made it in a sealable glass jar so I  just filled that with water and shook it up. It looks pretty and tastes delish and will help me get my water for the day.

Please vote!

A while ago I blogged about that dress that I was going to wear to a wedding this week. Well, I returned it, due to a misguided comment from my husband.

Me: Is this dress too slutty for a wedding with your family?
Him: No. Well, yeah kind of.

So of course that diminished any bit of confidence I had about wearing the dress. After I returned it, I started looking for a new dress. But I was paranoid about everything I tried on. I didn't want to buy a dress that my mom would wear, but I also didn't want something TOO revealing. It seems all the dresses this season are those bubble dresses that practically reveal your lady parts. Normally, I'm not opposed to that. But this happens to be a wedding that I will be at with my mother in law and my six brothers in law. I don't need any comments about my boobs or lady parts at a family event. I probably went to fifteen different stores and visited some of them several times. I FINALLY found a dress I liked today. But then I put it on and took a picture of myself for this post and didn't like how it looked on camera. Of course. So I tore through my closet and tried on any dresses that might possibly work and now I need you to weigh in, if anyone is reading this. Three of these are old dresses and I'm not going to say which is the new one. Because I am so hyper critical of myself, I need outside opinions.

Yellow and Black Sun Dress

Black Strapless Dots

Black Belted Dress

Gauzy Floral Dress

I like how Wilbur is sitting in the back of the third one, just judging. Also please disregard the fact that both of the belts on the belted dresses are lopsided. And that my hair is a hot mess.

I apologize for the shallowness of this post, but I'm at a loss here.

On (lack of) Self-Control

Several weeks ago I bought a dress for my brother-in-law’s wedding, which happens to be in two weeks. I have a lot wedding related events coming up and I was uber-excited to buy a different dress for each one of the. Because, of course that is necessary. But I’m a reasonable girl and I knew that I had to stay within budget. The first dress I found was at TJ Maxx for $20 and will be perfect for my cousin’s wedding shower. Then I hit the jackpot at Ross, where they had a bunch of different Calvin Klein satin dresses for $50.

I love fitted dresses as opposed to flowy dresses made out of flimsy fabric. They look good on other girls, but not this one. I have rather large breastases and I like my dress to be able to smush them down and make them appear smaller or at least higher. I tried them on and OF COURSE I was between sizes. So I did what any self-respecting girl would do and I bought the smaller size and decided I would starve myself for the next several weeks.

Right.

When I KNOW that I have to control my eating in order to physically fit into something, I start playing mind games with myself. Where most people would panic and start a diet and exercise program similar to DJ’s in the episode of Full House when she passes out on the stationary bike, I do the opposite. I put it out of my mind until we are one week away and I physically can’t fit my leg into the dress.

Things were going great for a while. I was at the gym every day. I spun my heart out until I broke my ass and my knees. Then I got sick. My crazy bad cold kept me in bed for several days and generally feeling like crap for more than a week. I didn’t have an appetite, so I lost five pounds. BONUS! When I stared feeling better I decided I would just keep the same eating habits that I had when I was sick, which was like, eating a cracker and then sleeping for five hours. Didn’t work so much.

So not only had i gotten out of the habit of going to the gym, but my appetite also came back. Now I have gained back the five pounds plus three more. I look like I’m about three months pregnant. I think I should start posting weekly belly pictures.

But it’s not all my fault. Things just keep HAPPENING in my life that basically require me to eat massive amounts of food. Lets take this past weekend as an example.

Friday: We had something to do in our old college town, which is like one mile from downtown. We were there around rush hour, so instead of braving the traffic we decided to get dinner and wait for rush hour to be over. We went to an Italian restaurant and I had to get my favorite thing on the menu, herb chicken over penne in a marsala sauce. I think I looked it up one time and it was like, well over 1200 calories. Still too early to get on the road. Might as well go to Mad Mex for a drink. What’s that? Oh its happy hour? Oh, Big Azz margaritas are only $5? And they are 900 calories? Well . . . I can’t pass up a SALE.

Saturday: I had to work on a magazine article I’m writing. There is a section of my city that is a long strip of warehouses that sell stuff on the streets on the weekend. Really authentic Italian breads and meats, lots of asian grocers, Polish grocers, a giant fish market, etc. My job was to interview a bunch of the street vendors about what they sell. Of course, what kind of investigative reporter would I be if I didn’t actually sample the products that I was writing about? Which led to a lunch that consisted of (and in this order):

1. Gyro Meat

2. Canolli

3. Funnel Cake

4. Chicken on a stick

5. Pad Thai

6. Another Chicken on a Stick

7. Roasted Peanuts

8. Kettle corn

9. Falafel Sandwich

That night, I was still feeling the effects of my culinary trip around the world. I decided I would have a light salad for dinner. Then my friend called and said she was in town and she is the type of friend who will not speak to you for a year if you don’t drop your plans and see her when she is in town, without any warning. I decided I would just get a cup of soup and a water. I sort of stuck to this. It was clam chowder, which I’m sure was loaded with fat and calories and I added a ceasar salad. And the waiter asked if I wanted some grilled shrimp on my salad. What the F kind of question is that? Duh.

I rolled myself home and realized, oh shit, I have to go out to lunch with my best friend tomorrow. We have a tradition of going out for crab legs on each other’s birthday. And any other day of the year that we can justify it. Which led to Joe’s Crab shack, some bad decisions, and a pot the size of a camping cooler filled with a thousand crab legs, a million shrimp, corn, potatoes and some random sausage. We weren’t sure why the sausage was there, but I don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

Don’t judge me. I am now drinking green tea and water and eating only fruits and vegetables until the wedding in order to at least shed some water weight.*

*This will probably end up being a lie.

The Childhood Obesity Epidemic

Remember how a few days ago, spinning was the love of my life? Well, now it is responsible for my broken body parts. Seriously, I’m falling apart over here.

It all started when I was laying in bed, the night after a particularly grueling session of spinning. Wilbur was laying in between F and I, snoring and being all kinds of cute. I kind of twisted around and tried to lift him so he would be on the other side of me, for optimal spooning (the dog, not the husband), when I heard something pop. Okay, so he is a 20 lb beagle and not a 200 lb german shepherd, but still awkward to lift when you are twisted into a backwards spooning position. That’s when the neck and upper back pain started.

According to my doctor, www.google.com, I pulled a lat muscle. Just ice it, rest it and no vigorous neck straining exercises. Fast-forward a week later and I re-pulled the stupid thing while trying to flat-iron the back of my hair. Add in another spinning class and my knee keeps giving out and I have pain radiating from my hip all the way down my ass and leg. Why do I have the body of a 90 year old woman? I’m about to call up Betty White for some osteo-biflex cocktails.

The good news is, I lost about five pounds since I started the spinning. The bad news is that I’m sure thats going to skyrocket back up once I take this break and let my geriatric body heal. But I have to come clean. I am ALL about clean eating, healthy cooking, etc. I read all the magazines, check out the fresh organic produce at the hippy grocery stores, etc. The problem is that I don’t actually . . . do it. If a 25 yr old could be the face of childhood obesity, I would be it. Check out yesterday’s menu:

Breakfast – Vanilla cupcake

Lunch – Wendy’s single combo meal

Dinner – Fish sticks and a cupcake

REALLY?? WTF? Now let me clarify, this isn’t a typical day for me. Its just that I’m totally inconsistent about this whole healthy eating thing. I’ll be eating great for a few days and freak out if I spy so much as a crouton in my salad. The next day I will polish off a fast food value meal without even looking back. And now I can’t exercise, GREAT.