Seen and Heard

I do a lot of writing in public places, like Barnes and Noble and Borders. Sometimes I switch it up and go to Panera. I wish Starbucks would finally break down and offer free wifi. Come on, everyone else is doing it.

I like working in public places because it makes me feel like less of a recluse. I have a pretty fancy shmancy office at home, but i usually end up on the couch, or worse, in the bed. When i try to work in my bed, you can bet it will be lights out in no time.

As a writer, I am a natural stalker stalker observer of the human race. I have noticed that a lot of people use these bookstore cafes as mutual meeting places for business meetings and job interviews. I hear a lot of peculiar conversations. I mean seriously weird stuff; odd reading habits, one-ended phone conversations and disconnected chatter.

So I will be spontaneously posting the random things I hear at these places. Because they are funny. And because I’ll take any excuse to avoid work and procrastinate. I leave you with the first “Seen and Heard in the Book Store”.

“Why don’t you get Canadian bacon?” Long pause. “It’s just HAM for God’s sake!!” – Man on the phone at Barnes and Noble.

Gym, Tanning, Laundry

Well I already screwed up. No one likes a blog post without a picture! Here is the only picture i have of me on my phone right now. Keep in mind I look nothing like that in real life. I won’t say what i’m dressed up as, because I don’t want to offend anyone.

Who’s watches Jersey Shore?

Mandatory Introductions

I hate introductions, so here is what this bloggity blog will entail:

Arts and Crafts

I have been an arts and crafts junky since I first discovered pipe cleaners. I’m one of those people who looks at something in a store and thinks, “Twenty dollars for a throw pillow?! I could make this!” I’ll share my crafty successes and failures as well as some how-to tips.

Home Improvement/Design

My husband and I bought our first house about eight months ago and it’s still so exciting. I’d love to tell you that it’s a cute little cottage and that we have eco-friendly bamboo floors as well as rustic details left from the generations of people who have lived in it. But alas, it’s a two story townhouse in a planned community with a bunch of young families and yuppies. What makes it even sadder is that it is built on the top of a giant hill in a historic town that was ravaged by floods and never quite revived. So all the townspeople look up at us in disgust. They fought the development for years. But I don’t care. I have lived four different apartments in the last five years, so I was ready for walls that I could paint. My DIY attitude makes me believe that I can tackle any home improvement project. Sometimes they work.

Random

It’s inevitable that some of my daily life will creep into this blog. I’ll try to keep the “Dear Diary” entries to a minimum, but this is mainly for me to keep track of my life.

My Career

Not sure how much I’m going to delve into this topic. It would probably be boring to most readers. I quit my job as an accountant about a year and a half ago and have been trying to make it as a freelance writer. I don’t feel like I’m anywhere near there, but I have big dreams. And I’m making some progress. So I’ll probably use this space to gloat when I get new gigs or new articles published. That shit doesn’t fly on Facebook, but this place is all about ME.

Fitness

I’m trying to get in shape and just become generally stronger. Why should you care? Because looking at my progress will probably make you feel better about yourself. I was always the girl picked last in gym class. No, really. It always came down to me and the morbidly obese kid that smelled like hot dogs. And they always picked the fat kid first because he could at least come in handy defensively. I was the skinny, quiet shy kid until college, when I miraculously became the outgoing, newly formed beer gut kid. I blame most of this transgression on my boyfriend (now husband) and PBR Light. I hate working out and I hate the gym, so you should be able to get a few laughs out of my pathetic attempts.